Building Self-Confidence

Good Monday morning to you!

How was your weekend?! We had a nice one spending quite a bit of our time with family. We also got a day date while my parents took care of Hunter on Saturday afternoon. We haven’t been to the movies in months, so we took advantage and went to go see Spiderman 2. I may be the minority as a girl, but I kind of love superheroes and Spiderman is my favorite. I guess it helps that I always love the little love story involved in Spiderman movies. Winking smile

Moving on to the topic I wanted to cover today: self-confidence.

Self-confidence is something I have come a LONG way with in the past few years. Going through some depression, anxiety, and some disordered eating several years ago resulted in me spiraling into a dark hole of little to no self-confidence and a struggling self-esteem. To get out of the hole, I’ve had to really be proactive and conscious in an effort to build back up my self-confidence. It’s taken a lot of discipline, accountability, and encouragement from myself as well as my loved ones. It’s forced me to be patient with myself and it taught me how to love myself. Needless to say, it hasn’t been easy!

But sometimes the hardest things result in the best rewards! Life has been SO much more rewarding, exciting, and fun with a solid self-confidence. It’s enabled me to do things I never imagined I would do, and has introduced me to some amazing and wonderful people.

I wanted to share some of my own personal tips that have helped me build up my self-confidence:

Fake it ‘til you make it

I think this is one of the things that has helped me the most. If I’m feeling anxious or intimidated by a situation, then I tell myself that I have it together, I’m feeling confident in myself, and I can do whatever I want to do. This increases my self-confidence and in turn, helps me to do whatever I want to do better.


Remind yourself that everyone is human

We all make mistakes, we’re all not perfect, aka we’re all human! No one expects you to be perfect (or they shouldn’t), so just do your best and that’s all you can do.

Seek a few people that love and support you to hold you accountable to your goals and will encourage you

My husband, my parents, and a couple close friends are a constant source of encouragement to me. They are constantly telling me that they believe in me and love me no matter what.


Continually remind yourself of your positive and great qualities

Make a list of all of your best talents and qualities, and constantly remind yourself of them. This in itself will give you a little boost of self-confidence!

Recognize that just because you fail doesn’t mean that YOU are a failure

We won’t be perfect and excel at everything. Life is full of successes and fails, but this does not mean that YOU are a failure. I’ve had to pick myself up numerous times after failing at something, shake myself off, and move forward with confidence.


I still have situations that I get anxious and/or I doubt myself so I have to revisit each of the above tips to remind myself that I totally have that self-confidence to get out there, go outside my comfort zone, and rock it!

I hope my own personal tips and advice will help at least one of you out there because each and every one of us deserves to have a strong sense of self-confidence. We are all gifted with things that are special and unique to ourselves, so I encourage you to figure out what those things are (if you haven’t already) and OWN them!

Do you like superheroes? If so, who’s your favorite?

What was the best part of your weekend?

Do/did you ever struggle with self-confidence?

What tips do you have to help with building self-confidence?

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  1. says

    We saw Spider-Man 2 Friday… So good! I’d have to say I’m a big fan of him and superman because of their stories and what they stand for. You’re not the only lady in this minority ;)

  2. says

    I kind of like superhero movies too, other than some of the creepy batman ones. The best part of my weekend was knowing that it’s the last study weekend before graduation and seeing my boyfriend even if only for a short while.

  3. says

    yup, totally struggle with self confidence sometimes. I’ve gotten a lot better, but it’s still there!
    Superhero- I’ll have to go with my husband’s favourite- SuperMan haha!

  4. says

    I’m not a huge fan of those movies but I will see them if it’s on TV or something. Best part of my weekend was running the marathon relay yesterday :) Had such a great time. I think we all deal with some self confidence issues every once in a while. You have great ways to get the confidence! I would say faking it is the best tip, or getting rid of the people in your life that cause you to have the self confidence issues.

  5. says

    I hear you girl!! I used to struggle (and still struggle) with a lot of the same stuff. Luckily, my family and friends are so encouraging. It’s like they know just what t say when I need it!! I’m glad you have that support system as well :)

  6. says

    I’ve definitely struggled with self confidence over the years…I definitely agree with these tips to help get people out of a self confidence rut! And the whole ‘fake it till you make it’ thing…it definitely works!
    I like superheroes, but I’m a bit more picky…I like the Avengers ;-)

  7. says

    Love these tips! You are so smart :) what helps me with my self-confidence is knowing that everything I do I am doing for The Lord. When he is the one I should really be focusing on and working for, it helps me in all areas of my life from my relationships to my job to my body image.

  8. says

    I struggled more with self confidence in high school/college (in college it was more body issues type stuff like being skinny) but over the last 5 years I’ve made big strides. I think it has to do with loving yourself as your are, imperfections and all. I definitely still could use more self confidence but I’m happy with the strides I’ve made.

  9. says

    Beautiful post Ash! Yep I’ve had my ups and downs…mainly downs on the self confidence front but luckily it’s all been up the past couple of years! Learning to not only accept but love yourself is fundamental….for me what helped was looking after myself. Eating well, sleeping more and exercising in balance and all three helped my mind. It was more balanced and happier as a result. When it comes to depression, stress and I believe confidence we tend to forget the importance of good nutrition…and how the absence of it can have such a negative impact.

  10. Lauren says

    I have a question…sort of relating to self-confidence. :) I’m trying to recover from HA and gain weight. My question is, how did you handle seeing the number on the scale going up from week to week? It’s been really hard for me because I’m so conditioned to think if the number on the scale is going up, it’s a BAD thing. I want to own it and be confident but frankly that’s been a struggle for me at any weight.

    • Ashley says

      Great question Lauren. It certainly wasn’t always easy, but by throwing out the scale, buying some clothes that fit me and I felt good in, and continually reminding myself of why and what I’m doing for my body, I was able to get through it and develop more self-confidence through it all than I ever knew possible. Keep up the great work! You deserve to be confident in yourself!

  11. says

    I’ve struggled with some self confidence issues over the years too. For me, becoming a mom has actually really helped me too. I feel like I know what to do for Aiden and that I am his perfect mom – even though I’m DEFINITELY NOT perfect. I also think your suggestions are what has helped me as well – Fake it until you make it is a coined phrase for me.

  12. says

    I have the upmost admiration for you Ashley. As someone who is recovering form an eating disorder, I so desire this incredible self worth you have. Reading your blog over the past few months has really helped me progress in my recovery! Currently have gained 30 pounds back and I am totally owning them!

  13. says

    Self-confidence has been a HUGE struggle for me, and while it’s gotten a lot better, there are still times where I battle with a lot of self-doubt. The ‘fake it till you make it’ attitude has helped a tonne, as has letting go of the idea that I have to be perfect. Another thing… which might seem a little weird at first… was getting frustrated at how many amazing opportunities I held myself back from just because I was too afraid of what might happen if I took them. At the end of the day, what’s the worst that can happen? Every mistake is just an opportunity to learn and grow.

  14. says

    I’ve never really been a superheroes fan–I was always a girly girl growing up! Best part of my weekend was playing with my little nephew yesterday! I totally agree with all the points of this post–especially fake it till you make it. I feel like that, and strength training really raised my confidence levels.

  15. Billie says

    Great post! Self confidence is definetly an up and down type of thing for me. One thing that helps me is having a journal in which I write down good things happening to me, things making me proud etc. Often it’s just a few bullets at the end of the day or maybe a nice email somebody wrote me which I printed out. It helps me focus on the positive things in life, what I’m capable of and motivates me to work hard. Oh and I totally argree: When in doubt, always fake it. You should never talk yourself down – be it to others or yourself.

  16. Ashley M says

    This has definitely been an area of growth for me and a way that God has revealed his love and redemption in my life! Thank you for this post, it is amazing to see how far you have come and I am so proud of you! THIS will inspire so many women!

  17. says

    I like super here movies too! I really really enjoyed Captain America! It was super intense and really good!

    Self-confidence for me comes from simply going for IT. Whatever IT is in life! :)

  18. says

    Great tips, Ashley! I think this is something we as women tend to always struggle with, and when we overcome it, it’s a great feeling! I hate that it seems to be such a curse, but sometimes it makes you stronger to be able to keep yourself positive, and use that positive energy to do something awesome!

  19. says

    My self confidence as a teen and in my early 20s was horrible. It seems like sometime in my late 20s, I moved on. I grew. Honestly, I don’t know where it came from but I definitely think age helps. Great tips!

  20. Eva says

    Lovely post, thanks! I’ve also built a lot more self-confidence in the last few years, and it really is a matter of discipline. Whenever I’m feeling anxious or insecure, I remind myself that that’s just part of being human. It’s a feeling that everyone experiences and knowing that helps us to be more connected to each other. When i look at it that way, i don’t feel so ashamed of being insecure sometimes.

  21. says

    Love this!! I think everyone struggles with self-confidence sometimes. I know I sure do, and it was wayyy worse when I was younger. Thankfully, I’ve pretty much overcome it :D

  22. says

    I love the Avengers! Iron Man is my favorite! :)
    This post was so encouraging and just what I needed! I’ve just been in a funk lately and really struggling with self confidence. “Remind yourself that everyone is human” – so true! I expect perfection from myself so often (definitely a 1st-born perfectionist here!), but I’m human and no one expects me to be perfect. I need to learn to give myself some grace. Love the “fake it ’til you make it” tip too. So true!

  23. Katie says

    Great Great Post!!!! No superheroes for this mama… Just can’t get into them! Best part of the weekend was solid sleep… My moving brain finally relaxed a bit :) I have def. struggled with self-confidence in the past & sometimes I still do in big groups of people. However I’m learning to just be myself & do what I know how to do!

  24. Ashley says

    The comparison trap is one of the worst things I can get myself trapped into as well, and it never does good things for my confidence. Do YOU and rock it, Girl! ;)

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